If I Was In Charge

I woke up this morning expecting only one thought in my head. But I immediately noticed there were definitely two.

The thought about my birthday is what I expected. I'm eight today, and Mama's arranged a big garden pawty. I hope I don't have to pose for more than ten photos before I can have all my cake and get all my presents.

The thought I could never have expected was about a dream that kept me busy all night. I was in charge. Making all the rules. And making the impossible, possible.

And I couldn't help but think — maybe this dream was a special birthday message. Maybe I should be in charge and make the rules more often. After all, eight years of living such a full and pawsome life is more than enough experience for a smart pup like me to know exactly how the world should work. What's right. And what's not. What I love. And what I'd change without a second sniff.

So, before my pawty gets started — here are the eight rules I'm making. And hope they come true.

Wish #1: Time With My Pack

If I was in charge and making all the rules and could make even the impossible, posssible — one by one, I'd visit every single person who's a part of our pack — no matter where in the world they happen to live. The friends and family who always have our backs. Who shows up without ever asking. Who are there when it matters – convenient or not.

Like Pete. He comes out of his guardhouse in the freezing rain and howling wind just to hand me a treat and rub my floofy head because he knows how much I love this and how it makes my day feel complete. Or Mama's friends, who, for many weeks, cooked wholesome meals and took me for walks when Mama was too sick to do it herself. I’ll jump in their lap and keep licking their face until I'm certain they know exactly how impawtant they are to me and Mama.

Because they’re the special few who make our happiest days happier. The hardest ones, easier. And the loneliest days — a lot less lonely.

They're everything to us. And I want them to feel this as deeply as we do.

That's why our pack is, without a doubt, first on my list.

Wish #2: Amazon Prime Access

If I was in charge — I'd have full access to Mama's Amazon Prime account. Without any budget or parental restrictions.

I believe I've earned this privilege, with full honor. I've been extremely polite and pawtient watching Mama shop here for the past eight years. I help bring every single Amazon package into the house. I open every box — it doesn't matter if it's big or small. I never complain when we have to go to UPS to send them back. And not once — not ever — have I been asked if I'd like to order something for myself.

I'm definitely not greedy. Whatever I'd buy would be for a very good reason. Like the brain training dog puzzle I noticed flash by on the screen a few days ago. And apparently the people who bought this also bought the jumbo bag of organic bite-sized liver treats. That makes sense to get — those go together. And then by chance, I also noticed the new extra-fluffy, extra-crinkly, and squeaky Bluey toy that's sold out everywhere I've looked, but Amazon Prime has it in stock.

Do you agree? These are very reasonable and good choices. And that there'd be no need for Mama to sniff around in my cart or supervise my shopping.

My wish list is confirmed. Only two paws are standing between me and what I need.

Add to cart. Place order now.

Wish #3: Manage Mama

If I was in charge — I'd make time stand still in all the moments that get missed because we take for granted. When life is happiest, and we think it will last forever. Or when more time is needed by those that we love, and we tell ourselves there'll be time tomorrow. So now when I'm snuggled up right next to my Mama, and she's calm and content, and the sun's beaming down and warming my back and her hand's rubbing my head in the pawfect spot — I'll stop the clock for long and make time stand still for as long as I feel it necessary. There'll be no rushing off to do a few quick errands. Join another Zoom meeting. Or send one more pawmail that turns into ten. And I definitely won't start the clock so Mama can go make a new slide deck when the first was just fine.

I have counted the hours. I have the data. It's not in her favor. That laptop she has will not be the boss. I'm eight years old, and now I'm in charge. And missing out on what matters will not happen on my watch. Not for one second of one single minute. 

Wish #4: Beach House

If I was in charge — I'd pack up all other things and put Mama in the car. I'd drive us to the beach. And we'd never leave.

Whether it's Perth or Cape Town or one state over in San Diego, the beach is always our favorite place to be.

I love playing in the waves and digging in the sand. I love being covered in mud from the top of my nose to the tip of my tail. I love taking long walks and dog watching from under our blue umbrella. I love eating Mama's made-with-love picnics. And watching the sun set over the ocean every night and falling asleep to the sound of the waves never loses its magic.

I don't mind that sometimes it takes way too long to find a spot for our car at the beach. Or that there's always sand in my lunch. Or how I find myself on the way to Dirty Dog Wash almost every day before dinner. Because there's nowhere else on this pawsome planet where my body has more energy, my mood is happier, or my heart feels more at peace. And at the end of every beach day, snuggled next to Mama, falling asleep to the sound of the waves — my heart already knows it wants to do it all again tomorrow.

I'll never stop dreaming about living at the beach. It's where it's easiest to be my happiest self. That’s why this has to be on the list.

Wish #5: Food Rules Transformed

If I was in charge — I'd immediately change the rules about food in this house and the science about food in three distinct ways.

Food Rule #1: Whatever and whenever Mama has on her plate is exactly what would be in my bowl, at the exact same time. Food Rule #2: My food would have no calories — so I’ll never again have to hear the words "Floof, you've already had your quota of dinner". Food Rule #3: Half treats — those would be illegal. In fact, it’s probably safest to make all treats impossible to break in half. Then there's no pressure on Mama about breaking any rules. And Pete at the guardhouse, he’s not exempt. The same rules will apply there, too.

I know my value. I know what I deserve. And even though my nickname has a deeper meaning - it carries more weight (pun unfortunate) than only referring to by super soft and floofy fur — I should still always get the whole entire treat. No exceptions. Not even on Mondays.

My tummy is rumbling at the thought of these rules and my wish becoming my reality — because I love food a lot, and also snacks and all treats. Especially when followed a long uninterrupted nap.

Maybe this wish should move to the top of my list.

Wish #6: Trick PhD.

If I was in charge — I'd master three real tricks in less than one day.

Sit. Stay. Come. My heart wants to be kind, and my words polite about this, but these aren’t tricks. Not by any dog's standards. These are obedience instructions. Dog survival 101. Tricks should be magical. There should be something mysterious about how they happen. And since these are my wishes, these tricks I want to learn because, paws down, they'll make my life even better.

Trick #1: Open the treat cupboard all by myself. Always undetected. And be able to reach anything on any shelf that I want. So I never have to wait for Mama to decide when I get a snack or a treat. After all, she isn't the one dealing with a hungry tummy.

Trick #2: Without Mama noticing, unplug the charger to the laptop, iPad, or iPhone whenever Mama needs it to be functioning at full battery capacity. Then wait for the shock and frustration: How did this happen? And then for the win: Toffy, let's go for a walk. Now that's a real trick. Can you see the difference?

Trick #3: This will be the hardest go master because it's a two-part trick. But I don't mind because it will also be the most valuable to me. Part 1 is learning to read Mama's calendar. So I always know what's coming up and when she thinks she'll be leaving the house without me in tow. And when high alert appointments are scheduled. Like going to that one certain place with the very unreliable scale. I just have to make sure that if she happens to walk past, it looks like I'm working on an upcoming blog. Part 2 is easier but still requires skill. This is where I make the car keys disappear. Quietly. And completely anonymously.

And this is apparently an example of a triple threat. Which I'm excited to be.

Wish #7: Toffy’s Dog Blog Goes Viral.

If I was in charge — I'd wish for this blog to reach as many people as is humanly possible.

Not for the fame. Not for the attention. That’s never been my thing. I'm a Zen Den homebody type of dog. I value my privacy. And I'd like it to stay this way.

But on another paw, I started writing Toffy's Dog Blog for one very impawtant reason. To help make this world that we live in a much better place. More kindness. More love. More happiness and sharing. And more of the good stuff that makes life worth living.

So the more inboxes this lands in, the greater the chance that something I share will make somebody's day brighter — or their heart feel lighter — or even inspired to be just a little kinder to everyone they run into. Then maybe that person will also feel better, and they'll also be a little kinder, and a ripple of goodness will spread and grow stronger. Then all the long hours of writing and sharing so many stories will have been worth every minute — because this is the dream that inspired the creation of Toffy’s Dog Blog. And I want to do better than good for all these reasons.

Wish #8: Zen Dens. Delivered.

If I was in charge and making all the rules and could make even the impossible, possible — every single dog in the world would have a safe and loving home. And in addition to this, I want them to also have a Zen Den of their very own, that's entirely and completely their very own. This way they'll also have a sacred little corner to retreat when needed — like when life gets too noisy, or they just want a nap without being interrupted. And every single dog in the world should also have at least one special person who'll be by their side, no matter what. And who loves them without any unfair rules at all. And a full bowl of food — well, that's a given.

My heart gets so sad and feels overwhelmingly heavy when I think about all the dogs who wake up alone, cold and scared and feeling unloved. Because no dog should spend even a single day without being loved and feeling secure.

This matters more to me than anything else. So if only one of my eight wishes could come true — this is the one I would choose every time. Before relocating to the beach. Before full access to Mama's Amazon Prime account. Before reading her schedule, or any other wish I have on this list.

And I'm sure at least some of these rules, which are now my birthday wishes, will come true in the future. Just like the very first wish I made right when I was born to have the best Mama in the whole entire world.

I can't wait to see which of these comes true. I'll keep you pawsted when it happens.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a birthday pawty to get to. Happy Birthday to me. The luckiest boy in the whole entire world.

Toffy xoxo

#lifewithtoffy #toffysdogblog #thinkliketoffy

PS! If you liked this edition of Toffy's Dog Blog, please share it with your friends and family and help me share my message to live*love*play!