I Thought It Would Be Forever!

For as long as I've lived — for almost every single one of over 3,000 days — there's been someone special in my life who's almost always been my first stop of the day when venturing out on my morning walks. Someone who taught me fun new tricks. Someone who always had the best of treats and the lovingest ear rubs and back scratches. Someone who taught me how to be the most responsible and best volunteer Security Guard dog ever!

Pete was my special someone. He wasn't just my dearest friend, but also the chief Security Guard at our community guardhouse — and the best one there ever was. And he was also my boss! My very kind and encouraging boss, who let me volunteer and, together with my Mama, helped teach me my job of welcoming and making sure all visitors coming in were safe. And saying goodbye when they were heading out. Pete was pawsome at his job. So, learning from the best meant Pete and I made one pawsome security team.

Visiting Pete was something I purposefully chose to do, even on the days when heading to him wasn't a convenient part of our morning route. When I got to Pete, I would always sit and wait — because that was our thing. Pete would look at me through the glass, smile, and ask, "Are you ready?" And only then would he let me in. Every time — never breaking our special routine, not in almost 3,000 days.

I never thought that could ever change, until it did, when Mama told me the most pawful news. Pete was leaving us. He was moving on.

My floofy ears couldn't believe what they were hearing. My heart broke, immediately, right in half. My tummy felt sick. I couldn't imagine Pete being gone — what would be the point of getting out of bed for a walk if Pete wouldn't be there, to love me and play with me and give me treats?

I thought maybe Pete didn't love me anymore, which made my heart even sadder and my tummy so much sicker. What had I done? Why was he leaving? I didn't understand.

But Mama explained it wasn't that at all. Pete was so sad about leaving us too — really, really sad. But he'd gotten a job he'd been waiting to have for over a year, one that was only 20 minutes from his house instead of 120, with lots of other perks that he definitely deserves. So, on the one paw, I was happy for him. Really, truly happy. But on the other paw, my stomach was sick with missing him already, and he hadn't even left.

So Mama and I made a promise. Every single day, rain or shine, until Pete's very last one, we would make sure to visit him. And every single visit hurt more than the one before because I knew it meant one less day of having my dear friend Pete present in my life.

I knew I would never ever forget Pete for as long as I live — I was already missing him, and he hadn't even left. But I wanted to make sure he didn't forget about me and that he would know just how much he'd be missed. So I went looking online for the pawfect gift. Nothing I saw was good enough for someone as special as Pete.

So I put my very smart brain to work on this job — and it didn't disappoint me in coming up with a practical, pawsonal gift that would make it impawssible for Pete to ever forget me.

What did I choose? You'll have to wait a minute till Pete gets to unwrap his present....But I can promise you that forgetting me, was very unlikely.

I was excited to give him his gift, but heartbroken too, because that would mean our last day together had finally come. And as much as I wished that Friday would never happen, it was impawssible to prevent. Mama and I walked extra slowly to the guardhouse that day. Neither of us wanting to ever get there.

But eventually we did. And Pete was sad too, I could see it and feel it too, and he said so himself. With a heavy heart I gave Pete his present to unwrap, and jumped up to kiss him and say my goodbyes. But knowing me as well as a best friends does, Pete let me help him unwrap his gift, and that lightened the sadness even if just for a minute — one last memory together — ripping the blue polka-dot wrapping paper off of his gift.

Pete loved his gift. His heart was touched, and his eyes confirmed that he felt everything I wanted to say.

What did he get? A very fancy blue water bottle — practical because it kept drinks cold in the summer, warm in winter. And pawsonal, because I sent in a picture of my floofy face to print on the bottle, with a message that said, "Thanks for being my friend! 💙 Toffy!"

Then we said our final goodbyes. It was so very hard. And Mama and I left to walk home with heavy hearts. My tail didn't wag again for many weeks to come, and even now, most mornings, my first thought is still about heading out to see Pete. And then I remember. He's gone! And my heart breaks all over again.

I'm sure you can imagine the guardhouse isn't the same. It's empty now — empty of Pete, and his love. It's quiet now — quiet without his stories. And even the treats aren't quite as tasty.

I hope whoever joins the guardhouse crew next is even half as pawsome as Pete. I hope they help ease how much I miss him, but I also know, paws down, no matter how pawsome they turn out to be, I will never forget Pete because it's impawssible to walk past that guardhouse without thinking of him.

I hope Pete's happy. He deserves the best. And I hope, one day, I will maybe get to see him again.

Almost 3,000 days of the happiest of hellos. And one pawful and sad goodbye, and now only special memories of the good times we shared. That's really hard. So I hope this is a reminder to you to tell and show the people you love how special they are. Every day, if you can. Because you never know that one day they might move on, and what you thought would be forever turns out not to be.

Toffy xoxo #lifewithtoffy #toffysdogblog #thinkliketoffy